Its my 18th in december... Im currently 187 lbs, the highest I've ever been. I need to get to at least 145 lbs to be considered 'normal weight'. So, my target is 145lbs by december 1st, my birthday is december 15th so I'll have a fortnight after that to lose more. Thats about 8.4lbs per week not including tomorrow, I've lost more in a shorter period of time before but its still a lot. I only go to college 2 days per week, and when im there i dont eat much and I walk there and back, about half an hour each way. When I'm not at college I still have lots of work to do which will keep my mind off of food, and I'm going to make a real effort to exercise every day, even if it is just sit ups in my bedroom. I'll try and update more regularly, it will help to keep me focused.

So, change of subject, my boyfriend of 3 years :), finishes sixth form next summer, and hes taking a gap year to volunteer with kids in eastern europe, which I think is just amazing, but he's going to be gone for 7 months. I'm going to miss him terribly of course, but I thought that while he was gone I would really try and step up the weight loss, and just try to change for the better, so that he comes home to a better me. Also, I think that the only reason I havent lost weight for a long time is because being around him always makes me feel, I dont know, its like it doesnt matter to him so it becomes less important to me, but when he's gone away I wont have him around to make me feel better. I guess I'll just have to figure out how to live without him for so long xx

Hey, okay so... I''ve been concentrating on generally losing weight with no real plan or goal, and so.. Things had gotten bad, I need to lose 40lbs to get to an acceptable weight (or at least a weight at which i'd be okay at), and after that another 15lbs to get to my overall goal weight. I'm trying very hard to be positive about this, just taking it pound by pound, every calorie counts, every time I exercise it counts. I'm also going to post my intake and outake and all that business every day so that I can keep a track of it all.

So on to other matters... My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and so we're usually pretty much in tune with what we're each thinking. But recently its been getting odd, he gets mad for no reason, he snaps at the slightest thing and I honestly cant think of anything that I've done to make him act like that, I cant even think of anything going on with him that would make him act differently all of a sudden...

Okay I'm done complaining for now I swear...